Nursing School

In January of 2005, five years after my divorce, I started the nursing program to become a LPN.  Before I started school I was very worried about my ability to do it and be a success so I wrote myself a long commitment letter.  I read that letter all the time.  I’m sure I still have it somewhere.  The nursing program was a year-long with three semesters.  It started out as two separate large classrooms.  I knew that this was going to be hard but it was important to me and I wanted to make a difference.  That was my nature.  The program was so hard that by the end of the first semester we had lost almost half the total students so it was combined into one class.  Amazingly to me I passed the first semester but I had a slight edge.  Because I worked as a CNA and Medical Assistant I had some background knowledge into this field.  By the second semester I was getting into unknown territory and it was hard.  The hardest thing, at this point that I ever attempted.  The classes were all day Monday through Friday and then I spent hours at night reading chapters in massive books with as many as 30-40 pages per chapter.  Most of the time I had to read and reread the chapters because of my dyslexia and reading comprehension issues, but I did it and I stuck with it.  Many days I would read that commitment letter and give myself a pep talk because at times it was hard to get out of bed and keep going.  When they tell you that this program will consume your life and take all your dedication was an understatement.  I didn’t only complete the program but I got high grades and excelled at the clinical aspect of my learning process.  I can remember graduating right before Christmas and thinking, “Did I really do this?”  It wasn’t easy but I was proud of such an accomplishment.  Even with my dirty little secret I overcame the struggle of my own mind and didn’t let it drag me down.  It got me thinking that maybe I can do this.  I can live a great life even if I was Bipolar.

Halfway through nursing school I was feeling lonely.  I wasn’t meeting anyone worth my time at the bars and clubs so online dating was suggested to me.  At the time this was a new way to meet people and hopefully get to know someone on a deeper level.  I signed up with eharmony for a three-month period and had several matches.  Of course it took a couple of guys to find one that sounded like a good possibility.  He had struggles and I had struggles.  We were both looking for someone to accept one another and have a deeper connection with this as a common thread.  We wrote back and forth for a while before we talked and then met up at an Issac’s near his home for our first meeting.  I don’t know what it was but for some reason we kicked it off and our world wind relationship took off.

At the time I thought I had it all.  I became a nurse!!  I meet someone!!  And all the while fighting my Bipolar!!

Author: Carrie

Welcome to my site, after years of hiding behind the shame of living with Bipolar I want to share my story and help others without the judgement by simply being Me.

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